


i'm pathetic (but what can i do?)

by seohngjin (cngkyns)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Character Study, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, and psych student sungjin, like rlly slow?, mentions of bullying, partially beta-ed, partially unbeta-ed, photographer younghyun, probably slow updates, tags may change bc i'm still not done yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-06-11 23:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cngkyns/pseuds/seohngjin
Summary: tl;dr In which Sungjin learns how to love, and Younghyun learns how to tread carefully.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> hihi! so this is a Big project i've been working on for Months & i'm rly nervous abt releasing this out bc it's? smth different than my usual? and i don't know if it goes as ~deep~ as i wanted it to be. i've worked on this for so long, though, it's basically my baby. there's a whole bunch of deets of this fic at the end, so stay tuned if you're interested!   
>  also, fun fact: sungbri is my True Guilt Ship of day6, but i ended up writing sungjae first oop

I.

Younghyun is no psych major, but he reads people like an open book.

To him, people had always been clear glass windows- transparent, easy to see through, and rather fragile. Some people were misty, their true selves revealed after a mist of condensation had been wiped away. Others were broken and taped together with duct tape; though they believed they had been fixed, they were prone to breaking down just as before. Others, much like the Japanese _kintsugi_ , were repaired and beautified with liquid gold— put through trauma and tragedies, only to evolve to something beautiful.

All this he captures in his photographs, he documents them in his journals, he uploads them on his portfolio for the world to see. Portraits and candids and modeling shots, everything with human subjects that captures their beauty, he has them all. True, he had several other works that branched away from people as well, listing from nature to architecture to fine art photography, but people had always been his favourite subjects.

 _People are complex_ , he reasons. _That’s what makes them beautiful._

Though in the case of Park Sungjin, he thinks it stretches beyond that.

 

 

They’d first met when Younghyun’s photography class set up an exhibition for the semester’s project. Everyone was invited to come see the exhibition, from students of all the surrounding universities, to parents and professors and talent scouts. Taking place in their university’s largest halls, photography students had arranged their work to form a gallery, each one holding up their own booths to proudly present their work.

Younghyun had set up his beside the exit, hanging his photographs on the walls or mount boards or encasing them in frames. Portraits of people surrounded him, different sets of eyes looking over the vast hall and catching the attention of fellow passersby.

The exhibition went smoothly; he welcomed any curious guest to his booth, explained his project, entertained any questions, and gave away a few business cards to some talent scouts. The night was close to an end when another guest paused at his booth, eyes not leaving one of Younghyun’s works, and said,

“She’s so sad."

Younghyun glances up from the table. Across him stood a male student in an oversized, grey hoodie, his fingers half-hidden inside his long sleeves and the university's student tag hanging around his neck. His gaze doesn't leave the large photograph hanging at the opposite side of the booth, as if entranced by the portrait.

Pocketing his phone, Younghyun smiles and approaches the guest. “Yeah. She wasn't feeling her best when I took that picture of her.” He looks back at the portrait.

Hyerim, the girl he photographed, appeared to be smiling in the photo. A small breeze had caressed her hair, letting it flow behind her, and the sunlight that shone on half her face highlighted her sweet, simple beauty. However, upon closer inspection, her smile barely reached her eyes. The downward slope of her shoulders was lower than usual, depicting her gloominess, though the difference was barely visible.

Younghyun turns back to his guest. “Oh, but most people who saw it didn't realise that she's actually sad in the picture. How did you know?”

His guest shrugged. “She seems like it.”

Impressed, Younghyun nods. “That's cool. You have a sharp eye.”

The guest doesn't reply to that, instead scanning the other photographs hung on the walls. Though he was soft-spoken and short with words, his eyes spoke in place of his voice in the way it twinkled, grazed everything before him with such gentle eagerness. Younghyun couldn't help but stare at the student in interest, his hobby of reading people already at play.

“You take nice pictures,” the student mutters. He points to a smaller photo almost obscured by the other large ones hung on the wall. “I like this one.” 

Younghyun follows the direction of his finger, pointing towards a portrait of Changmin, one of his classmates whose voice was rarely heard by other students. Though Changmin was expressionless, almost stone-faced, his portrait depicted the vulnerability in his eyes, the way his lips drew a line between neutrality and sadness. 

“Changmin doesn't seem to have emotions,” the student says, eyes paused on the portrait, “but he looks like he's feeling a thousand and one things here.” 

Younghyun raises his eyebrows in surprise. Yet another accurate comment. “How do you know that?” he asks. 

“Oh, I’ve counselled him before for a project.” The student turns towards him, sends him a half-smile that grazes his eyes. “He was one of my first clients.”

“Counsel?” 

The student nods. Lifting up the student tag around his neck, he shows his card to Younghyun, who peers closer. _Park Sungjin_ , the card read beneath a picture of his face. Then, below it, were the words _Psychology Department_.  

“I’m Sungjin. Second year psych student, nice to meet you,” he says, holding out a hand towards Younghyun.

“Oh.” He takes the hand into a firm grasp. “I’m Younghyun, second year photography student. Nice to meet you, too.”

After exchanging a handshake, Sungjin steps back to admire the rest of the works hung on the walls, not ready to leave. Around them, guests were exiting one by one as the exhibition neared to its end; some paused as they approached Younghyun’s booth while the others walked past without sparing a glance. The minute hand on the clock ticks with every passing second, the noise in the hall gradually decreasing, yet Sungjin still stood in the center of the booth, unmoving, like an immovable boulder in the middle of a rushing river. Face tilted like this, the lights above cause his eyes to sparkle brighter than before, lips stretched into a subtle smile.

 _I could take a picture of this,_ Younghyun thinks, his fingers itching for the click of a shutter button. But no. That wouldn’t be appropriate. His job right now was to present his works to others, not making works out of them. Besides, his camera was locked away in his dorm room.

“I like your photos,” Sungjin mumbles, cutting his train of thought. “I really do.” 

The warmth of a blush creeps up to Younghyun’s ears. Sungjin’s interest in his photographs seemed to be genuine, from the way he’s focused on his photographs for so long to the repeated compliments; it seemed far more than the polite compliments or the quiet admiration he’d received from other guests. “Thanks,” he says. 

“Do you take pictures of other things, too?” This time, his guest faces him once more.

Younghyun shrugs. “Sometimes. I do a lot of nature and architecture photography, too, and the occasional candid photography. Portraits are my favourite, though,” he adds. 

“Oh, okay.” Sungjin nods. “Is there a chance that I could see them as well?”

The question catches Younghyun off-guard. Except for talent scouts and his family members, no one ever bothered to ask for his other works, usually only giving the same “wow!” and “this is amazing!”

“O-of course!” he answers, more than happy to do so. Taking brisk steps towards his table, he opens the stack of business cards and pulls one out, handing it out to his guest. “Here’s my business card if you want to see more of my photos. I have a physical portfolio at home, but my online portfolio,” he points to a link printed at the bottom, “is more complete. It has my works since high school, as well as all the events I’ve participated in and all the projects I’ve curated.”

Sungjin accepts the card gratefully. “Ah, I see.”

“I have some photos hanging around campus, too,” Younghyun adds. “You can see them in the art department hallways, near the canteen, and some hanging around the administration building! I mean, you don’t have to go there to see them, of course, since they’re up on my portfolio as well, but—” 

“No, don’t worry, that’s cool,” Sungjin cuts. “I can see why they’re hung there. Your photos are amazing; it’s worth displaying.” 

At last, a wide, uncontrollable grin spreads across Younghyun’s face, unable to stop it from forming anymore. “Thanks,” he repeats for the nth time. “It’s the first time someone complimented me this much.” 

His guest opens his mouth, ready to reply, when a voice spoke over the loudspeakers,

 _“The exhibition is ending in five minutes. Guests, please get ready to leave the hall. Students, begin to tidy up your booths.”_  

“Oh,” Sungjin says. As if stalling for time, he stares up at the clock and makes no move to leave. “I didn’t realise it was time to go.” A note of reluctance hung in his words.

“Neither did I,” Younghyun replies. “I, well, I have to pack now.”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” Sungjin glances at the clock, then at the booth, then at the clock again. Battling his unwillingness, he steps outside the booth and walks toward the exit, waving a goodbye at Younghyun. “I’ll see you around campus.” 

“Yeah, you too.”

 

 

“Your nature photography is amazing, by the way.”

Younghyun flinches in his seat, looking up from his laptop and books to a figure standing behind him, its shadows falling on the table. Sungjin, dressed in a grey hoodie and carrying thick books in his arms, smiles down at him. 

“Hey,” he says, returning the smile. “Nice meeting you again. And thanks for saying that.”

“Anytime. May I sit here?” 

At once, Younghyun clears away his scattered stationery on his right, dumping away pencils and pens into his pencil box, swiping away his papers to the other side of the table. “Of course,” he answers, making space for his new company. “Here to study for a test?” 

“No, I have some assignments to catch up on.” When Sungjin plops next to him, Younghyun catches a whiff of a strong, woody scent wafting from his body, sharp and welcoming. 

He hums in reply. “Psychology?”

“Stats. You?”

“Ah. Good luck with that. I’m working on my, uh, feature article for journalism.”

“Oh, a feature article? On what?” Sungjin asks.

“About last week’s exhibition. I didn’t have anything else on hand, so I thought it’d be neat to  write it because I participated and all.”

“Mmm, I see. That sounds fun.”

Silence falls between the two of them, words replaced by the sounds of pages turning, pens clicking and muted music blasting from earphones. In this unpopular corner of the library, surrounded by a thick wall of classical Korean literature, they were able to isolate themselves from the crowds near the entrance and the group of Business students cramming for a test in the far corner. Sungjin is quiet as he works on his assignments, never letting out a sound beyond the occasional questioning hum. Younghyun, on the other hand, muttered words to himself every now and then, reading and rereading his article to smooth out any bumps in the text.

After a while, Sungjin yawns and pushes his books away from him, ready to take a break. He sends a side glance to his seatmate, who was three pages deep into his article, before he looks about themselves.

Some time during their session, the sun had dipped lower in the sky, its rays filtering through the trees that cloud their windows. Shadows of the leaves, elongated against their table, sway gently to the breeze, its movement almost unnoticeable. The lighting of the library grew warmer, much more yellow now that afternoon was setting in. Taking one earphone out, Sungjin realises that many students had left; the library had quietened down and the tables nearby the entrance— a popular area— were empty.

His stomach grumbles. A quick glance at his watch showed it was 6.45pm, close to supper, which meant that the campus’ canteen was open by then. Sungjin sighs.

“You hungry?”

He glances at Younghyun, who had pushed away his laptop and was staring at the entrance of the library.

“No, not really.”

“Are you sure? We can buy a snack if you want.”

“It’s fine, I’m not hungry anyway. I can wait until we’re done. You’re almost done, aren’t you?”

To his surprise, Younghyun folds his laptop and tucks it away into his messenger bag. He stands up, chair screeching against the wooden floor, and stretches his arms high into the air. “Come on, I’m bored. Let’s go buy something.”

 

 

Sitting on a bench in the courtyard while dangling their legs, Sungjin downs a can of coke before he answers his friend’s question. “I like onion rings.”

“Really? Onion rings?” Younghyun scrunches his nose. “You’re weird. I think they’re kinda gross. Too much air inside and not much flavour to them. And when you bite it, the air comes gushing out of your nose.”

“Onion rings taste great, though. Better than those salt and vinegar chips you’re having.”

Younghyun grimaces at that, licking salt off his fingertips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Salt and vinegar chips are _amazing_. Here, try one.”

“No thanks,” Sungjin answers immediately, holding out a palm to reject it. “Don’t want to knock off my taste buds before dinner.”

“How dare you say that. Salt and vinegar chips are good appetisers, okay. Makes me crave for more food.” Finishing the last chip off, Younghyun crumples the plastic wrapper and tosses it into the trash can beside them. “That was great. Now I’m not so bored anymore.”

Sungjin cocks his head to the side. “Did you eat because you were hungry, or because you were bored?”

“Don’t know. Maybe both. Food is great for any occasion.”

“Huh. That’s not good.” Leaning against the back of the bench, he looks up at the evening sky, dark blue, dusty with clouds and specks of stars. Sungjin muses, “Did you know that peanuts give you enough energy for studying?"

“Mhm?”

“So don’t snack on junk food when you study. It’s healthier to eat peanuts, isn’t it?”

Breaking out into laughter, Younghyun lightly hits Sungjin on the shoulder. “Don’t say that. You bought, like, two packs of chips just now.”

“I know, I know,” Sungjin says, a giggle escaping out of him. “I never listen to my own advice.”

“Then why dish them out?”

“Well, I’m studying to be a therapist. It’s pretty much my job to advise people.”

Younghyun hums in interest. “Is it?”

 A shrug. “Sort of. Maybe. Yeah.”

Their conversation lulls into a pause, neither of them wanting to say anything. The streetlights that line the cobbled path of the courtyard begin to flicker one by one, yellow light pouring out into the darkness and illuminating the expansive area. A handful of students, not far from them, break their silence with rambunctious laughter that echoes around the courtyard. Deafening chatter spill out from the open doors of the canteen, where dinner was starting and a queue of students snaked outside.

“What do you do as a therapist, actually?”

Sungjin flinches from his trance, having waded too deep into his thoughts. “What? Sorry?”

“What do you do? Do you research on people? Diagnose them with illnesses? Counsel them?”

He pauses to think. “No, yes and yes. The research thing is mostly done by psychologists, since they’re considered social scientists and do tests and diagnosis and all, but they can do therapy as well. Therapists are more of counseling and providing support for people.”

Younghyun nods. “Oh, that’s cool. So why do you want to be a therapist?”

“Hm? Well, that’s because...” Sungjin purses his lips in thought. He takes a minute or two to gather an answer, before he sighs and continues in a softer, hesitant tone, “Just because, I guess. People are interesting.”

His friend casts a side glance at him.

“What about you?” Sungjin asks, swiftly dropping the subject. “Why do you want to be a photographer? Assuming you want to be one, I mean.”

“Me?” Younghyun tilts his head. “I…don't have any noble goals or anything. I like cameras. And pretty things. And taking pictures of pretty things.” He takes a deep breath. “When I first started, I was more into taking still life photos, objects arranged together to form artwork, because I thought they were pretty cool. Then I moved on to landscapes, but it got boring pretty fast, so I went on to portraits. Portraits are simpler than most photography, but people are complex, as I'm sure you know.” He glimpses at his friend. “You can tell an entire story by looking at people's features. Their eyes. Their lips. Their skin. I think that's... interesting. And I like that a lot.”

“Mm. I understand.” Pause. “People are complex. We're all full of mysteries and contradictions. That's what makes us interesting, I guess. Why I chose to study psychology.”

Younghyun beams. “Yeah. Exactly. When you look at it that way, people are beautiful, don't you think?”

“I...yeah.” Sungjin frowns, not agreeing with the statement, but brushes it off anyway. “Sure.”

“Nice! So that's a thing we share in common.”

 

 

“What took you so long, man? Were you out taking creepy shots of girls?”

Younghyun rolls his eyes, slipping out of his shoes and placing them on the rack. Though it was fifteen minutes to midnight, his roommates, Jae and Wonpil, were up in front of the TV, consoles in their hands as they battled each other in-game. A bottle of coke and two glasses sat on the coffee table.

“Stop saying that, Jae,” Younghyun replies, “when you’re the thirsty one between us. And why are you guys awake?”

“Stressed, can’t sleep,” says the elder. “And Pil drank too much coffee.”

“Ha, take that!” Wonpil says, apparently deaf to their conversation.

Seating himself on an armchair, Younghyun steals a glass of coke and finishes it in one go. “Pil, don’t you have a morning class tomorrow? You should go sleep.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I took a nap earlier. I need to work on one of my designs tonight, anyway.”

“Then go do it? You know Jae’s gonna drag you into this game until tomorrow morning.”

“Not unless I win!” Wonpil grins, grips his controller tighter in excitement. “He keeps on trash talking me, so I’m gonna show him who’s the real king in this.” He folds his legs together.

“But seriously though,” Jae cuts. “What were you doing out so late? You know we have curfew around here, and now it’s like, an hour and a half past curfew.”

Younghyun shrugs. “I made a new friend. We ate dinner together.”

“Oh, that’s it? Nothing illegal?”

“Of course not! What do you take me for?”

“Don’t know.” Jae deflates with a sigh as his screen flashes red, indicating his crushing defeat, while Wonpil cheers beside him. “Remember my previous roommates? I don’t want that to happen again.”

Right. Younghyun grimaces at the memory, recalling tales of drunken roommates, disgusting moans past midnight, and broken property in their dorm, followed by Jae’s apparent trauma of such people. Waving it away, he says, “Don’t worry. As long as it’s Pil and I under the roof, nothing like that’s gonna happen. We’re nice people. Lawful. Believe in justice and whatnot.”

“Jae, you lost, so you're cleaning up tomorrow,” Wonpil announces, sliding off the couch. He tosses his controller at the elder. “I’m gonna sleep now! Night guys.”

“Night,” Jae answers. Turning back to Younghyun, he says, “Yeah, about that. You guys are nice kids, I can see, but just. Just make sure you don't go off doing anything weird, okay? There's a lot more freaks on campus than you think.”

Younghyun bobs his head, leaning over to tip more coke into Wonpil’s cup. “Yeah, yeah, so I heard. I haven't met anyone weird, yet, though, so it's probably not _that_ bad—”

“No. Shut it. If you think you won't meet a freak like that, you're wrong,” Jae replies, tidying away the living room. He clears away the controllers, places the game back into its place, and turns the TV off. “I thought that way, too, until my roommates from hell turned up and gave me chaos for a year. Then, because birds of the same feathers flock together, those damned roommates brought their friends over, then _they_ brought their friends over and on and on, until my life was filled by gross dudes and dudettes living off illegalities, alcohol and unsafe sex, while I almost fell apart from stress.”

Younghyun winces.

“So yeah.” Jae looks up from putting away the console. “Just be careful, okay? You never know who you're talking to.”  

 

 

A few days later, Sungjin leaves his morning class with brisk footsteps, wanting to exit the building as fast as possible. Seeing _them,_ the unruly bunch, back in class worsened his mood for the rest of the day, a frown etching onto his face as he squeezes past through the other students. Granted, they didn’t disturb him during the lesson like they normally would, a feat he should thank his lucky stars for, but he _did_ hope he wouldn’t meet them again so soon.

Thank god it was already lunch. Given how big their campus is, he can find an empty space for his much-needed alone time and avoid the hell out of _them_.

Head kept down and earphones plugged into his ears, he doesn’t notice a body standing amongst the crowd, unmoving unlike the rest. Shoulders colliding each other, Sungjin staggers back two steps, then bumps against a group of students behind him.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologises to them, not looking up from the floor. He’d rather not interact with anyone at the moment, especially since _they_ were around and he might have bumped into one of them, the revolting lot.

Instead, an unexpected, friendly voice answers, “Hey man, it’s fine.”

At that, Sungjin frowns, lifting his gaze from the floor, then breaks out into a relieved smile. “Oh. Younghyun. Hey.”

“Hi,” his friend replies, returning his smile with an easy grin. “Good to see you again. What’s got you in a rush today?”

Sungjin grimaces. “Sorry for bumping into you. I...was in a bad mood and I wanted to go somewhere else to, uh, escape for a while. Avoid people and all.”

“You’re going to spend lunch time alone?” Younghyun scrunches his nose. “That’s sad. Don’t you normally sit with other people?”

Not having an answer to that, Sungjin stays silent. “I...no? I eat lunch by myself most of the time.”

“What? Really? For how long?”

A shrug. “A long time, I guess, but I’m used to it. I think I like silence better than other people’s company, anyway.”

His friend sighs. “Aw. Can’t be helped, then. I don’t have anyone to sit with today because my group ditched me for some project, so I was gonna ask you…”

 _Oh?_ Sungjin blinks. People rarely wanted to sit with him when they were asked to, let alone invite him to their table, and it had been this way for years. For someone to ask him all of a sudden...

“But it’s fine!” Younghyun says. “If you want your alone time, I’ll respect that. We have a lot of students here and people are overwhelming sometimes.”

“Y-yeah. Too noisy and all.” Adjusting the straps of his bag, Sungjin glances about him, where their fellow classmates were leaving in the direction of the canteen, a natural current of movement carrying them in the same direction. Already, chatter about the day’s menu was rising high into the air, reminding him of the lunch he cooked this morning that was tucked away into his bag. Looking back at Younghyun, he says, “So, I’m going to...go now…?”

Younghyun flinches out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh, sure. I mean, wait!”

A few steps away from him already, Sungjin pauses walking and turns around. “Yeah?”

“Wanna walk to the canteen together?”

“Yeah, why not?”

 

 

“This is the second time we’ve eaten together, huh.”

Sungjin nods in answer, not wanting to stop chewing.

“It sucks that my friends ditched me,” Younghyun pouts as he munches on chicken, “but at least I can get to know you more.”  

“Mhm, yeah.”

“I had art history just now,” he declares out of nowhere. “It was...pretty boring, but I had to pay attention because we're having a test soon.” He grimaces. “I haven’t taken notes in that class after last semester ended; it isn't the most interesting subject out there, but I need it to pass. What about you? What did you have just now?”  

His friend hesitates. “Um...General Psych.”

“Oh! What do you learn there?”

Sungjin gestures vague shapes in the air with his chopsticks. “We learn about...the basics of psychology. What’s it about, the history of the field, types of research methods and so on. It’s pretty fun.”

Younghyun hums. “I see. It sounds like it.”

“Yeah. Not my favourite subject either, since I prefer the more practical classes, but I like it enough.”

“That’s great! Better than my class at least. I almost dozed off, like, five times.” He focuses on his food for a while, stuffing his mouth with his meal, before he asks out of nowhere, “Say, do you know Mark?”

“M-Mark?”

“Mhm! Mark Tuan. The guy from LA. I hear he’s a psych major, too. Do you know him as well?”

Sungjin’s heart sinks into his stomach. Slowing down his chewing, his appetite decreasing by the second, he thinks up for an answer. Yes, he knows Mark, but Mark came from the unruly bunch, _them_ , and Sungjin would rather not be associated in any way with them, especially since their association was negative. And unwanted. And far from pleasant. So, shaking his head, he answers, “No. I’ve never heard of him before.”

“Aw, really?” Younghyun juts out a lip. “He sounds like a cool person. One of my roommates is close to him.”

“O-oh...I see.” Having no reply, Sungjin keeps his mouth shut, focuses on his chewing instead.

His friend doesn’t mind, instead carries on the conversation by himself. “I wonder how he’s like. From what I’ve heard, he seems to be a decent guy to hang out with.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” Younghyun munches on his lunch in enthusiasm. “I have a number of friends, but I don’t go out with many of them, since our schedules don’t match up most of the time. There’s probably a handful of them whom I’ve socialised with outside of campus.” Dropping his voice, he adds, “To be frank, I don’t like some of them, too.”

“Huh.”

“They’re...how do I put it… a little clique-y? It’s hard to join in their conversations and get to know them on a personal level since they have this whole...superiority thing going on.” Uncapping his bottle and drinking water, Younghyun continues, “We still mingle together, though, in class or during projects or whatever. I mean, they can be pretty fun on good days, so they’re not _bad_. Just not my type of people, I suppose. The group that I hang out with are different. They’re better company.”

“Ah.”

Then, he peeks at his new friend beneath his lashes. “What about you? Whenever I see you, I notice you’re alone. Not to be rude or a busybody or anything, but…” Younghyun casts his eyes at his friend. “Do you...have friends?”

Sungjin is unfazed at his blunt words. “Not really,” he shrugs. “I mean, there are some people whom I’d call friends, but I...use the term loosely. They normally leave me alone, and I do the same to them.”

Younghyun bobs his head. “Hmm. Interesting. You’re one of those loner types, huh?”

A laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. Most of the time, I like being alone and being my own company. I like silence.”

“Doesn’t it get boring, though?”

“Ah...yeah. It does.” Swallowing his mouthful of food, Sungjin takes a second to answer. “Some people think it’s cool that we don’t necessarily need friends around, but having a dry social life is as boring as it sounds. I end up doing things alone, like watching movies or buying clothes.”

“Do you really have no one to do things with?”

Sungjin nods. “Yeah. Sometimes I go out with my roommate, but he’s a pretty busy kid and still adjusting to university. Being alone is fun, but not when you’re lonely.”

Younghyun is quick to suggest, “Then why don’t you make friends?”

“Hm?”

A moment’s pause. Of course, Sungjin’s initial reaction had been a strong _no_ , but sneaking a glance at Younghyun, someone whom he loosely calls a friend, he reconsiders his answer. Not everyone in the world was inherently bad, like most people he’d interacted with in the past, and some people were genuinely nice. A concept that, for the longest time, had been theoretical towards him, until Sungjin met Younghyun.

He purses his lips. “Well, I can try.”

“Yeah, you can always try. Even if you think you're better off alone, having a couple of friends on hand would help, wouldn't it?"

"Mmm."

"Let’s start from here.” Wiping his hand with a tissue, Younghyun holds it out to his friend—alas, they were _actual friends_ now— and grins wide, mirth oozing out of his smile. “Hi, my name is Kang Younghyun and I’m a photography major. Wanna be friends?”

They shake hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are some fun facts abt this fic:   
> 
> 
>   * this fic took me 7 rewrites and the first chapter alone took me abt....5 months? the whole idea came around nov. 2017, but i didn't realise how much plotting and rewriting and re-plotting i needed to even get this story enjoyable and write-able
>   * also i couldn't come up w a decent outline for smth this big
>   * it was my first time rly digging into writing technicalities like developing characters + plots + exploring themes & whatnot bc i usually just Write whatever's in my head
>   * yes the title is based off ['what can i do,'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RJWqIEo_Tc) a whole Bop
>   * original story was based off the 'what can i do' mv trilogy, ft. love triangles btwn sungbri & a girl, but i scrapped it bc it was too complex, lacked character development, and i don't like love triangles anyway
>   * stream [shoot me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2X2LdJAIpU) bc it's a mcBoppity Bop
>   * hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seohngjin) or [tumblr](http://sungjhin.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D%20rel=)!
> 



	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> step by step, they learn new things about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> click the links for a song to go with it uwu

Though they declare themselves as ‘friends’, nothing much happens between Younghyun and Sungjin. On campus, they greet each other in the hallways, exchange occasional texts throughout the day, and, when Younghyun’s friends are too busy for him, they accompany each other during meals. The rest of the time, their texts are as far as interactions go.

Their lives are hectic to the brim, days comprised of attending classes, working on assignments, catching up on sleep, and submitting projects one by one. The thought of maintaining a social life constricts Younghyun by the neck, so he calls for a break from his friends and starts hanging out on his own. Most of the time, that means lounging in his dorm with his roommates, snacking on their food, binge-watching shows and reading comics he’d missed. Other times, it means finding an empty area to escape to, seeking undiscovered beauty in the nooks and crannies of the city.

This Saturday, he decides to stroll through the streets of Hongdae, camera hung around his neck and eyes hunting for pretty scenes. Busking setups were already arranged in some areas, though left alone, and throngs of people spilled on the pavement. As he strolls down the street in long, relaxed strides, Younghyun snaps photos of dogs being tugged by their owners, flowers shaking on window sills, shops whose open doors beckoned customers inside, and secret laughter exchanged between groups of friends.

After a while, his legs beg to rest, so he buys a coffee and seats himself on a bench, where he could lay back and observe everyone around him. A few meters away from him was a busking set up and a small crowd surrounding it. Strums of an acoustic guitar ring out from the speakers to the rest of the street, a little louder than the chatter of people around them. Someone in the crowd cheers in anticipation. Two beats pass in silence. Then, a raspy voice starts to sing: a low, steady song of a broken heart, of missing memories, of a plea to be remembered by their former [ lover ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_AU1y-sKyE).

Younghyun perks up. He recognises the melody. It was a song that comforted him through his hard times: for falling with the wrong crowd, for the wrong person, and being left behind. Though the song was no longer painful to listen to, nostalgia arises in his chest, so he stands up from the bench and pushes his way through the crowd, eager to see the busker.

There, in the central of attention, sits Sungjin on top of a cajon with his guitar in his lap, mellow eyes staring through the crowd as he performs. Contrary to the plaid shirts and cardigans he wears on campus, he’s wrapped in a warm sweater vest with sleeves extending past his fingers, the sleeve of his right arm rolled up to make space for strumming. His dark brown bangs lay across his forehead, soft and unstyled, much unlike the left- or right-parted bangs he wears to campus. There’s a graceful, bittersweet curve to his eyebrows and the tilt of his lips while he performs, a resigned sigh to the slope of his shoulders as if he’s lived through the very song he sings, through the sadness of the lyrics, fingers strumming across the strings in graceful sweeps.

It strikes Younghyun as raw, heartfelt, as the sort of beauty he captures in his works, so he raises his camera to his eyes and snaps a picture.

They make eye contact a split second after that, and Sungjin’s heart crumbles.

 

 

“Your performance was really good there,” Younghyun comments over his sandwich, a tiny dot of mayonnaise spotting his chin. They sit on opposite sides of a small, round table at a cafe, eating a lunch of sandwiches, a shared bowl of fries, and two cups of steaming hot tea. His camera faces out of the window beside them, as if capturing photographs on its own, while his friend’s guitar leans on the wall behind them, untouched.

Sungjin smiles, the corners of his lips not touching his eyes. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t know you go busking.”

A nonchalant shrug. “I do it sometimes, whenever I’m free.”

“I see.” Taking a glance outside the window and remembering the long bus journey to reach here, Younghyun asks, “Do you always perform here?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s so far from the dorms.”

Sungjin lifts his shoulders into another shrug, biting the corner of his sandwich. “I don’t mind it. I don’t go busking very often, so coming here once in a while isn’t a big deal.”

“That’s true.” Dipping a fry into tomato sauce and popping it into his mouth, Younghyun muses, “It’s a coincidence that I met you here. I thought this area wasn’t popular with people from our campus.”

 _That’s why I go here_ , Sungjin thinks as he eats his own fry, _to escape from people I know_. To his friend, he says aloud, “Me too.”

They sip their teas for a while to wash their food down their throat, steam from the cups rising to their faces, the warmth of the drink spreading from their toes to the tips of their hair. After the last bite of his sandwich disappears into his mouth, Sungjin dabs the corners with tissue to show he’s finished eating. Pointing at the camera by the side of the table, he asks, “Are you here for a photography project?”

“Me? Nope. I came here for fun,” replies his friend. “I like to bring my camera wherever I go, in case I can take good pictures.”

“Ah, that’s cool.”

“I really liked your performance,” Younghyun repeats again, a genuine admiration tingeing his words and a hint of smile tugging at his lips. The song was still stuck in his head, Sungjin’s husky voice singing in a loop like a broken record, the shots Younghyun had taken of him replaying in his mind like a slideshow. “I listened to that song during a rough patch last year, so it brings back a lot of memories.” He pauses. “Usually, listening to it makes me sad, but your version was better, somehow. It made me feel warm. Nostalgic for an ugly period of time.” A pause, a hum. “You comforted me.”

At that, Sungjin’s ears heat up in a pleasant flush. No one had complimented him upfront: he'd kept his musical side a secret from his family, his so-called friends, and even his roommate, so none of them heard his voice before. The few kind strangers who were brave enough to approach him after a performance had only left a simple _good job_ _,_ so Younghyun's words flustered him. He shifts his gaze to the tabletop. “Oh. Thanks.”

“And you were really cool!” Another pause as Younghyun eats the last of his sandwich, unaware of Sungjin’s sudden shyness. “The emotions you expressed in your performance were so strong— wow, I felt it from the bottom of my heart. I’ve never been moved that much by a performance before. I had to take pictures.”

Avoiding his friend’s gaze, Sungjin smiles at the table and mumbles another “thanks.”

Done with his sandwich, Younghyun fishes out a thin packet of wet tissues from his pocket, then takes out a sheet and wipes his fingers and mouth with it. After that, he picks up his camera and turns it on. “Here, let me show you the pics. You looked great in all of them, like you’re a real singer.”

Sungjin leans forward over the table, unsure of what to feel. The compliments were great, sure, but did Younghyun take pictures of him without permission? Was he alright with that?

“Oh,” Younghyun says, as if reading his mind while he flips through his shots, “I hope it was fine that I took pictures of you without asking. You looked amazing, your performance was amazing, everything was amazing, so I had to shoot you at least once. Maybe a couple of times. Couldn’t let this memory die.”

The elder doesn’t reply, focused on the shots that Younghyun had taken. True to his word, Sungjin _did_ look, to an extent, amazing. Not in the way that made him handsome, but in Younghyun’s special way of portraying raw, powerful emotions that leapt off his photos. In the way Sungjin’s eyes sparkled in a passion he didn’t know he had. In the way his eyebrows curved to express the mellow lyrics. In the way he appeared, even in a picture, to be singing his heart out to the world, as if he’d lived through the very song he performed.

It was Sungjin’s turn to go, “Oh.” What was this? Younghyun’s shots were magical.

“See what I mean?” His friend bursts into a proud smile. “You’re talented, man. You’re great at making your audience feel things.”

Though he wants to say the same about the pictures, Sungjin flushes in silence instead.  
  


 

“So what else do you do in your free time, besides busking?”

They’ve paid their bills and left the cafe five minutes ago, now walking down a new street neither of them have been to before. Sungjin fingers his guitar strap as he takes in the new surroundings: most buildings here were made from brick, their vivid red painting a colourful scene with flowers and plants that line their entrances. Many shops boast discount posters on their windows and more food stalls tempt passersby with delicious smells. Not too far from them were a young couple, probably university students like themselves, sharing a bowl of churros over a bench and giggling at inside jokes. He smiles.

In reply to his friend, Sungjin says, “Nothing much. I don’t have many hobbies.”

“Oh, really?” Younghyun pauses walking to photograph an elderly couple inside a flower shop, their affectionate faces captured forever in his camera. “What do you do when you’re bored, then?”

“Play games with my roommate. Cook a little for both of us. Maybe cycle at a nearby park if I feel like it.”

“Ooh. That’s it? What about friends?”

They pause in front of a street boutique where a wall of caps and two racks of oversized hoodies were displayed at the front. Sungjin plucks out a light green cap and fits it on his head. “I don’t have many friends, remember?”

“You look good,” comments Younghyun, raising his camera to his face and snapping a quick picture. “Also, yeah. I forgot.”

“What about you? Are you always taking pictures, even in your free time?”

Moving on from the boutique, Sungjin walks ahead and peeks at every shop they pass by. There's a trinkets store with quirky objects laid on an outdoor table, a shoe shop presenting fake Nikes on their shelves, and a hole-in-the-wall photo studio with a sign that read _for weddings, special occasions and more!_ Large framed photos of random families, newlywed couples and individual shots were hung on the windows.

Younghyun raises his eyebrows at the shop. “Whew, that's expensive,” he notes, scanning at the prices printed on a banner. “I’d charge for half the price, but I’m not a professional anyway.” He turns to Sungjin. “And no, I’m not always taking pictures in my free time. I usually stay in the dorms or eat outside with friends.”

“Ah.”

“I play the guitar too!” They continue to walk down the street, follow the pavement as it curves right and leads them to a wide, long stretch of road. The brick buildings have blended back into blues, whites and grays, the road carrying several cars that zoomed past them and trees that tremble in the wind. “I used to make some covers here and there back in high school,” Younghyun continues, “and sometimes I’d play gigs at cafes with a bunch of them. I left my guitar back in Toronto, though, and it's been almost two years since I’ve played one. I’ve probably forgotten everything,” he laughs.

“Really?” Sungjin can't imagine being unable to strum a guitar for so long. “That sounds terrible. You can borrow mine if you want.”

“Can I?” A mild breeze picks up and dances down the street, kicking fallen leaves onto the pavement and brushing past their bodies. Younghyun tucks his free hand into his pocket. “That’d be cool, actually. I’d love to.”

Before Sungjin realises what he’s saying, the words “You should come over some time so we can play together” have left his mouth.

When Younghyun hears that, a switch lights up inside of him. Excitement drips from his voice when he asks, “Really?”  

Sungjin blinks. Even though he had said it out of impulse, the look on Younghyun’s face makes him swallow the correction on the tip of his tongue and go for an affirmative nod instead. “Yeah,” he says. “Of course.”  He attempts to brush off a weird sensation creeping up his arms and tingling his legs. Ever since university began two years ago, not once had he invited someone over to his dorm for fun and not academic purposes, so this was a first. After all, he isn’t one for opening himself up to others.

Besides, Younghyun seems harmless, unlike the people he’d met in the past. Why not let him in?

While Sungjin loses himself in his thoughts, Younghyun continues rambling to no one in particular. “That’d be great,” he gushes. “I hope I remember how to play it. Back in Toronto, my best friends and I would have a weekend jam session once in a while, usually covering some of our favourite songs. We wrote a few original songs as well, if I remember correctly, and we even uploaded them on YouTube a bunch of times, I think, and I've performed a few times in front of the school. Oh God, they're all probably terrible. Ah well, they make good memories.”

Pause. Camera click.

“Oh man, I haven’t sung in a while, too,” Younghyun muses. “I wonder if I can sing as well as back then. Hmm.”

Sungjin returns to the present. “Wait, you sing, too?”

“Mhm! Or I used to, at least, when I wasn't stressed and had all the free time in the world.” Another camera click. “A lot of people don’t know this, but Arts courses are _taxing._ ”

Though it was only five p.m, the skies were turning dark as the afternoon sun dipped lower behind the horizon overhead, yellow-golden sunlight reflecting off high buildings and dark shadows growing longer by the minute. After an entire day walking about in the busy city, Younghyun is more than eager to return home and flop on his couch, where he can review the shots he took and rest his poor, tired legs.

In his chest, a muted, satisfied warmth blooms as Younghyun recalls his day: stumbling across Sungjin's busking, taking several scenic pictures, and enjoying his friend's company throughout the afternoon. Sungjin, though quiet and guarded, radiates an aura of gentle confidence so unlike the people Younghyun surrounds himself with. And, beneath the tranquil facade, Sungjin keeps a secret passion— singing— that allows an array of raw emotions and messages to burst from within him. Younghyun is still dazzled by his friend's performance earlier, not expecting to come across powerful singing from a timid personality, and his mind hasn't stopped reeling over the many discoveries he's had of his new friend.

People. Their complexities and layers never bore him.

Finally returning home, the two of them step into an escalator that takes them underground to the subway station from a busy intersection. As the escalator brings them down, Sungjin remarks to his friend, “Hey, I’d like to hear you sing some time.”

“Huh?” The younger flinches from his thoughts. “Me? Sing?”

“Yeah.”

Without hesitation, Younghyun answers, “Sure.” Taking off the camera strap from his neck, he folds it neatly and places it inside his bag where his dear camera wouldn't fall. “I mean, I’m nowhere as good as you and the last time I sung properly was back in high school…”

“It's fine.” Sungjin shrugs. “I just want to hear you sing.” He can’t fathom why he thinks so, but he says, “I bet you sound good. Your voice is nice to listen to.”

Somehow, hearing those words caused a light, rose-coloured heat to spread across Younghyun’s cheeks. “In that case…” He glances over his shoulder where Sungjin stood above him on the escalator, his extra height and the loom of his guitar intimidating. “In that case, I’ll come over as soon as I’m free. Is that okay?”

“Okay. Text me when you’re coming.”

For the nth time that day, Sungjin feels an unfamiliar bubbling in his chest, a weird sensation he can't pinpoint yet. He can't decide what to make of it, but judging from Younghyun’s bright eye-smile and the way his teeth peek out from that excited grin, Sungjin thinks it's a good kind of weird.  


 

It's Saturday morning, two weeks after Sungjin had last went busking and two weeks since he last saw Younghyun. Midterms had yanked them apart, freezing even the shortest exchange of texts between them for the time being, and he finds himself a little lonely without that burst of energy from Younghyun once in a while. Once midterms end, he’s back in his personal bubble of privacy, never going anywhere else besides his campus, the nearby convenience store, or the dorm, having nothing much to do and no one to meet.

That is, until eight o'clock— and Younghyun along with it— arrive  on Saturday morning.

Dowoon, Sungjin’s younger roommate, opens the door first when the bell rings, surprised and a little confused when he greets a new face at their doorway. The loose wife beater and the slight muscled arms contrast with the tousled curls and the tired pout of his lips. A tiny frown dipping on his eyebrows, he says, “Um, good morning. Who are you?”

Not expecting this curly-haired, puffy-faced stranger to appear, Younghyun retreats a step back in equal surprise. “Oh.” He checks the number on the door. “Is this Park Sungjin’s room?”

The young man in front of him blinks. “Yes. Why?”

“I’m his friend.” Bringing a smile to his face to melt the awkward air, Younghyun holds out a hand. “I’m Kang Younghyun, second-year Photography major. Nice to meet you.”

It's still too early for Dowoon to process most things, let alone handle social interaction, so he stares at the hand offered to him for a good minute, figuring out what to do. To be fair, Dowoon doesn’t recall if Sungjin had invited someone or not; he was always notified beforehand whenever a classmate or a friend would come over, usually to work on some project or experiment. It's only when Sungjin appears in the doorway, flustered at his friend’s unexpected visit while he was unprepared, still in pajamas, did Dowoon shake the hand.

“Oh! You're Sungjin’s friend. Nice to meet you, I’m Yoon Dowoon from the Sports Science facul—”

“Younghyun?” Sungjin says, brushing past the younger man. The wall clock reads eight-zero-eight. They hadn’t had breakfast yet, much less prepare for a guest this early in the morning. Besides, Younghyun was supposed to text him first, so Sungjin asks, “Why are you here?”

“Hey Sungjin!” Oblivious to the sour expression, his friend waves at him brightly. “We haven’t seen each other since midterms started, so I wanted to come over for the guitar thing. You know, since we’re both free now! At least, I hope you’re free as well.”

“I’m free, yeah, but…” Sungjin glances down at his tattered graphic tee and his loose basketball shorts, which had been his pajamas for the week. His hair, sticking up in unruly places, is rather greasy and unbrushed, creating an impression of an electric shock. He’s sure that there’s the imprints of bedsheets all over the side of his face. “I haven’t showered yet. Or ate breakfast. Or tidy up. Our room’s very messy at the moment, so if you don’t mind…”

“It’s fine, I’ll wait,” Younghyun says, brushing it off with a shrug. Then, from behind him, he pulls out two plastic bags with the nearby convenience store logo on it, each filled with packets of chips, cup noodles, canned drinks and a few chocolate goodies. “I had a feeling that I came way too early and no one had eaten breakfast yet, so I bought some snacks to share! You can have some too,” he adds to Dowoon.

Dowoon perks up. “Ah, it’s fine! I’ll eat whatever we have.” Exchanging a glance at the two seniors, he excuses himself with a small nod and retreats back into his bedroom. “Um. Don’t mind me. I’ll be in my room if anything.” Then he disappears behind a door.

A short silence of staring at each other ensues. Sungjin reels in the heavy awkward atmosphere, hoping he didn’t look as sticky as he felt, while Younghyun takes in his sleepy appearance and hides an amused smile. He didn’t know Sungjin could be this messy.

Sungjin is a lot of things, isn’t he?

That’s when the silence between them breaks and Sungjin nods to himself. “Right. Guitar.” He turns around and takes his friend inside his bedroom, leading him by a weak grasp on the wrist. Though his bed is made, some of his books from the midterms lay open on his desk, pens and pencils scattered all over the surface, and two yogurt packets stacked on top of each other sat on the windowsill.

Tossing away the yogurt packets into the trashcan, Sungjin grimaces at the state of his room and gestures to his bed. “Sorry about the mess, I didn’t get the chance to clean it up since midterms ended. But make yourself at home.”

“Sure.” As if it wasn’t his first time stepping inside their dorm, Younghyun plops on the edge of Sungjin’s bed and crosses his legs, making himself as comfortable as can be. He marvels at his friend’s extensive perfume collection displayed on a wall shelf and at the pair of guitars— a brown acoustic and a white electric— leaning against the wall next to the bed. Behind the door were a set of hooks, a coat and a belt hanging from two of them, and a colour-coded schedule taped below it.

His friend tidies up his books and stationery, returning them to their proper drawers and containers, then opens his windows as much as he can to air out whatever smell there was. Grabbing a towel and a new set of clothes, Sungjin mumbles a _be right back_ , disappears into his bathroom for ten minutes, and reappears fresh and clean. A clean t-shirt replaced his tattered one, baggy sweatpants replacing his basketball shorts, his hair now brushed and his face aglow and his eyes now longer tired. A faint woody cologne wafts from his body.

Taking one guitar with him as he approaches the bed, Sungjin sits himself a handspan away from Younghyun and crosses his legs. “So,” he begins. “How do we do this?”  


 

As Younghyun opens his mouth and sings, Sungjin thanks the stars that he's sitting cross-legged on a bed or he’d be floored. Corinne Bailey Ray’s _Put Your Records_ [ _On_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSrUHW74Yj8) echoes throughout the small bedroom, accompanied by refreshing guitar and a sweet smell of pancakes that wafts in through open windows. Younghyun’s voice was soft and low, husky at the edges, but he had a way of hardening it into a clear, strong voice when the song needs it. Sungjin is entranced by the quality of his tone and his clear-cut pitch, at his vibrato and high falsetto, at the tiny smirks and glittering eyes Younghyun sends him that flutters his heart.

An unknown warmth creeps up Sungjin’s cheeks. _Is this how it feels like to watch me sing?_   he wonders. 

When he finishes the song, Younghyun ends it with a charming half-smile and hands the guitar back to its owner. His cheeks burn red, both from slight embarrassment and the exhilaration of performing with a guitar after so long, while a rush satisfaction at his own performance washes over him. “How was that?” he asks, peeking at Sungjin for evaluation. “Was it good?”

His friend blinks back at him in silence. Younghyun takes it as a no.

“So it was bad, huh?” Scratching the nape of his neck in deeper embarrassment, he says, “Ah well. It really has been years since I played the guitar.”

At that self-deprecating words, Sungjin denies it with a shake of his head. “What— no, no, that’s not it.” He blinks a few more times to regain his thoughts and calm his heartbeat. “You’re very good at singing— well, no, more like amazing at it. I was just surprised. I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Is that so?” Charming smile back on Younghyun’s face (and the erratic heartbeat back in Sungjin’s chest), he tilts his head and says, “So you like it?”

“Uh, yeah.” His friend clears his throat. ”Definitely. ”

“That’s a compliment. I’ve been praised by a singer!” Younghyun throws his arms up in the air. “Wow. I feel great.”

Sungjin flushes hard at that. “Singer? I'm just a simple guy who goes busking sometimes.”

“You sing, so you're a singer,” Younghyun concludes, adding a casual shrug. “And you’re amazing at it! So you might as well be one.”

“Ah…” At a loss of what to say, Sungjin lays his guitar flat across his lap and fiddles with the strings. “I mean,” he starts. “I mean, from what you showed me, you’re amazing at it too, so by your definition, you’re a singer as well.”

“Oh really?”

Before he’s sure of what he’s saying, before he’s sure of what he wants to convey, Sungjin continues, “You’re good enough that you can join me busking, if you want.”

And then Younghyun’s face lights up once more.  
  


A few days later, their autumn break officially arrives, life begins to slow down once more, and their university is at a standstill. Many students fly out for a short trip overseas, escaping the seasonal chill by flying to Southeastern countries; some of them group up for road trips or spend a week-long stay at the beach; the smallest remaining fraction linger in their respective dorms, preferring to spend their break resting as much as they can.

Meanwhile, Sungjin arises from his bed when the clock strikes ten in the morning. It’s a lazy Monday for him and his roommate, both of them having nothing to do and nowhere to go. He runs through his morning routine in a slow, steady motion, exiting the shower after thirty minutes, when his phone pings on his bedside table.

 _Hey_ _,_ Younghyun had texted him, the message flashing across the screen. _Are you free today?_

Sungjin slides a finger across it and types a quick reply. _Yeah. Why?_

 _There’s a new burger place downtown and I heard it was good. My friends are out of town, so do you wanna try it with me?_

Knowing that his schedule was empty, Sungjin texts back, _Sure_ _._  

So, they meet at the bus stop right by their dorm about an hour later, greeting each other with a simple grin. Today, Younghyun wears a white, oversized sweater that softens his features, contrasting the black camera strap hung around his neck and his dark brown bangs. Sungjin has his denim jacket layered atop a hoodie, brown bangs parted at the left, and three silver piercings glint in his left ear.

“You look good,” compliments Younghyun when they meet. He gestures to his ear. “Your piercings are cool.”

“Thanks. You look good, too.” Sungjin tries to drag his eyes away from his friend. He can’t.

The bus arrives in fifteen minutes, perfect for them to dangle their legs on the bench and exchange life updates while they wait. Younghyun hasn't brought out his camera in almost a week, hasn't gone out in a week, so he's devoid of any new shots and needs a breath of fresh air. Sungjin’s been hanging out in the library, delving into novels and comics and magazines, or challenging his roommate in video games. They’re engrossed in conversation when they step on the bus, when the bus stops at their destination, and when they’re heading towards the new fast food place on synchronised footsteps.

At last, a bright, red-and-yellow fast food restaurant looms to their right, wide open doors and a greasy aroma beckoning customers inside. Excited smile on his lips, Younghyun leads the way through the maze of tables and chairs towards the counter, where they place their orders and pay. Sungjin is the one to find them a seat: a sofa seat and a chair on the far corner, tucked away from the buzz of the other patrons to give them some privacy.

It takes five minutes for their orders to be ready, and another five for them to delve into their lunches. Another ten passes by in complete silence, both of them too busy enjoying the greasy fast food and the refreshing soda that came along. Cheeks bursting with two bites of a cheeseburger, a dollop of ketchup dotting his chin, Sungjin bobs his head in approval of the flavour and hums. “Mmm. This is delicious.”

“Isn't it?” Though he’d wolfed down an entire meal of a burger, two large fries and a large coke, seeing his friend enjoy his food that much made Younghyun hungry again. The puff of Sungjin’s cheeks, how his lashes flutter in enjoyment, and how focused he is on the food before him made Younghyun’s heart swell in something akin to adoration, to endearment. Sungjin is unexpectedly cute— he's a lot of things, Younghyun remembers— even though he doesn't realise it himself.

If it weren't for the burger Sungjin is munching on, Younghyun would reach over and pinch his cheeks.

“We should come over again,” says he when the elder finishes up. “You seem to really like it.”

Sungjin bobs his head once more, cheeks full with his final cheeseburger bites. He scrunches the burger wrapper into a ball, tosses it into his empty paper cup, and clears up his remains. “Yeah, we should. I haven’t eaten good burgers in a while.”

Before Younghyun can stop himself, he says, “So it’s a date?”

“Huh?”

They exchange an awkward glance.

“Huh.” Then, realising what he’d said, Younghyun giggles and pats his cheeks twice. “I mean. A friend date, if you could call it that.”

Out of nowhere, the corners of Sungjin’s lips curl up. “Sure. A friend date. No homo.”

Younghyun laughs.  


 

Over the next five hours, they creep and crawl through the streets of Seoul, hopping from one bus to another as they chat the hours away.

Swayed by the warm atmosphere, the pretty scenery and their physical proximity, Sungjin reveals more about himself than he normally does. When he was younger, he tells his friend, he dreamt of becoming a singer. He wanted to stand on stage and perform in front of thousands of admiring eyes, capture them with his voice and express untold tales through his songs.

Then it changed. Suddenly, he felt sick standing in front of people. Suddenly, he'd rather bury himself away from those thousands of eyes instead of standing proud in front of them. Suddenly, he wanted to disappear.

“I didn't have a good high school life,” he recounts as they drive by a convenience store, the bus swaying violently around a corner and the passengers swaying violently off their seats. “I didn't have many friends then, and I was bullied for a while. It wasn't...a good time.”

Younghyun pats his friend on the arm, a sympathetic _sorry_ implied in the gesture.

“But that's how I became interested in people,” Sungjin continues. “I...wanted to know why people bullied others, why they felt a sense of accomplishment when they hurt someone else. If I remember the days I was a victim of those kids, it still hurts here—” he taps his chest— “but maybe, being able to guess the reason behind it all can help me come to terms with it.”

His friend hums.

Meanwhile, Younghyun doesn't have a grand story behind his major. He simply likes to capture beauty with his lens.

“Yet you can recreate stories with your photos,” points out Sungjin, nodding at the camera hanging on the younger's neck. “That’s a grand feat in and of itself.”

Younghyun beams.

When evening arrives and their day comes to an end, the two friends stroll on the path alongside the city’s river, enjoying the refreshing air and the soothing tinkle of the water beside them. At night, the city’s lights glittered in the reflection of the river, illuminating passersby with soft white and gold that flickered in the current of the water. Younghyun loves it because this is where he thrives: beauty that sits in the nook and crannies, hiding in the darker corners of the river, of the spaces between the streetlights...

And right in front of him.

Leaning over the rail between them and the river, Sungjin’s pretty eyes were rounded in wonder, taking in as much of the night sky as he can. Yellow light played on his face, casting shadows that danced as he looked about them, his skin shimmering with the city lights, with the glimmering water’s reflections. Though the night was rather warm, Sungjin stood still, maybe cosy, in his thick grey hoodie, fingers almost buried in his long sleeves. His smile was unlike anything Younghyun was used to: genuine, yes, but also sweet, wistful, a note of longing traced by the curve of his eyes.

Sungjin is a gentleman, Younghyun knows. Gentle, kind, but not vulnerable, as proven from the way he carries himself, guards his words and actions. He is solid. Impenetrable. Strong.

Yet in this moment, where his eyes are far too soft and his smile too tender, Sungjin looks like he can break into a million pieces.

 _Pretty_ , Younghyun wants to say. His fingers itch to snap a picture of his friend right there and then.

To his surprise, Sungjin overhears that and turns to face him. “Hm?”

An uncharacteristic warmth of shyness creeps up his cheeks, reaches his fingertips and tingles the tips of his ears. Shaking his head, Younghyun brushes it off with, “The...the sky. It’s pretty tonight.”

“Yeah. Isn’t it always?” Sighing, the slope of his shoulders lowering in contentment, Sungjin adds, “That’s why I love the sky.”

As they walk back to the bus stop, Younghyun sneaks a glance at his friend, wondering if Sungjin had always been this pretty, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ahhhh it's been so long since i posted the 1st chapter and i'm finally releasing the 2nd!!! i'm so excited but also nervous, since it took so long, and i hope i don't let you guys down ;;;; let me know if you guys enjoyed it!   
>  edit: wow there were a number of mistakes and repetitions here ;;; they've been edited out as of 4th jan 2019! hope they weren't disruptive while you were reading   
>  as usual, hmu on [twt](http://twitter.com/seohngjin) or [tumblr](http://sungjhin.tumblr.com)!


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